ask gazeLLe – 6




 

Gazelle is not an expert on anything. These answers are just opinions, some based on experiences, some just my own common sense. These questions have been edited to smaller sentences.






     Q: I saw your photos of the Pride Parade morning party in your apartment, and I am getting ready to have a birthday celebration in my small apartment. Any suggestions?

(Megan H. / Los Angeles)



     A: First, the most important thing in a party is the people, if your place is small, don’t invite too many or it will be uncomfortable for everyone, make sure the chemistry is perfect. In your home you set the rules and you invite who you want, so co-workers, family and personal friends are totally different groups. I always find it easier to have a theme for the party, so that the quests already know what to expect; then nobody would ask for a tequila on a cheese and wine event. If you are going to serve food, keep it simple also…three or four different easy options are enough…remember your home is not a bar or a restaurant.

          Also…sorry, you can call me a pain in the neck, but nothing horrifies me more than a party with plastic cups and plates…maybe only drunk people drinking out of plastic cups would horrify me more…so have real glassware. Can’t afford really nice ones? That’s fine…get some simple ones…always according to what kind of drinks you are serving…it gives the party a more mature vibe…college days are a thing of the past!

          Music is important and it brings life to the party, as long as it is not super loud. At my little party on Pride morning, the music was kept really low because the whole party was being recorded…but good music is a must… fresh flowers is a good touch, but don’t over do it !

           I assume you only have one bathroom; so make sure it is completely clean of any personal items, put a lit soft scented candle in a safe place in it, away from towels and paper.

           If there is one thing that drives me crazy is to be asked to bring something to a party…food or drink…in Brazil the host/hostess is in charge of everything…but that’s the environment I grew up. From where I come from, you only take a gift to a birthday or anniversary…wedding gifts are sent days before the special date…so the concept to go to a party and be asked to bring a bottle of something is rather strange….for me, it disrupts your planning. I always believe if you can’t afford to do things right and on a reasonable budget…why do it? Anyway, have fun !

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       Q:  Is it really necessary to follow the “Ladies First” rule in a elevator?

( Mark V./ San Miguel / Colorado)

       A: I sincerely think it is a waste of everybody’s time if the elevator is crowded. It is just common sense to let people who are closer to the door to get out first. Now, if the elevator has let’s say two ladies and one gentleman inside…I think that the rule in this case is valid.









Questions? Send it to gazeLLe@freakchic.com

ASK GAZELLE links
http://freakchic.com/categories/263/ask-gazelle.aspx 


FreakChic
by Gazelle Paulo

ask gazeLLe – 5






    Gazelle is not an expert on anything. These answers are just opinions, some based on experiences, some just my own common sense. The questions have been edited to smaller sentences.






       Q: I am a pre-op transsexual living in Houston, and every time I go out I am always surrounded by beautiful men, and it is very difficult for me to let them know that I am not really a complete woman, and at the same time I love that they are so attracted to me. When do you think is the right time to drop the bomb?

(Nicole S. / TX)



       A: Well, I am sure you know the right time for it, I believe you’ve been in this situation many times, but I would say it right away, because this could be a dangerous game you could be playing, also it is important that they are really attracted to you, which they are already….but not to a fantasy of what you represent. Have you ever thought about what if you are attracted to this beautiful man you met, and after one month he tells you that he was really born a woman? How do you think you would feel?

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       Q: I live in Texas but stay in Washington during the summer with family. And that’s when I go down to New York. My family is really conservative- can’t stress that enough. They are so conservative, I was a preacher’s kid and everything, and even the artwork I do bothers them. But I have lately found out that I want to transition from female to male. I have no clue how to break it to my family at all. Please help- what do I say to them and my friends?
( Z Z / Texas )



        A: Every situation is different, every family is different, what is the same is the desire to be truthful to who you are, and you might be able to hold it inside for a while, but at some point this can be unbearable, and your need to be yourself will be stronger than anything. If that was my case and I had to break it to my very conservative family, I would start with one person first, the one I would feel could understand that this is my decision to make, it is about your feelings and how you relate to the world, and then with the help of this person you could break the news for anybody else that you feel should know in this first phase of your decision. The toughest choice or perhaps the easiest is the one you made about transitioning, it is about the love you have for yourself, if those who surround you can not be open to the idea of accepting the new you, and their views are really important to you, then you will need to ask yourself if you would be willing to live unhappy for the rest of your life just because your family and friends could not agree about how you want to live your life.






Questions? Send it to gazelle@freakchic.com

Freak Chic
by Gazelle Paulo

ask gazeLLe – 4



Gazelle is not an expert on anything. These answers are just opinions, some based on experiences, some just my own common sense. The questions have been edited to smaller sentences.





 

 

Q:  I am so tired of going out to dinner with my co-workers in business trips and when the bill arrives I end up paying the same amount that they do, and I don’t drink. Is there a way that I could say it is not fair the way the bill is split?    (Paul T. / TX)

 

 

A: Well, if it bothers you that much, don’t do dinner or lunch with them, simply….or if you only had a salad and the bill arrives and your share is about $50, honey, please check the bill, calculate yours with the tip and leave the money on the table…THEY know why you did that…and if they pretend they don’t, just reminded them that you only had a salad with a nice smile…it is not fair for you to pay for other people’s alcoholic habits, specially if they are not your friends. Now, if you are in a really fancy and expensive restaurant, money should not be an issue ever… and if it is…you shouldn’t be in such restaurant !

 

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Q:  I lost my job unfortunately and my lifestyle has declined immensely, I no longer have the financial means to be with my friends who are still living the fabulous social life I was once accustomed to, and I feel that because I can’t not be in the same level, it is creating a distance among us. I really enjoy being with them, but I can’t afford anymore, and I don’t know what to do !   (Karl N. / NY)

A:  First of all, don’t get in debt just because you feel you need to keep up with your friends. Second, be honest with them that you no longer can afford ‘la vida loca and expensive”, if they really enjoy your company they will understand and you all can still find a way to still enjoy each others company…if they don’t care…find new friends !



Questions? Send it to gazelle@freakchic.com

Freak Chic
by Gazelle

ask gazeLLe – 3





 Gazelle is not an expert on anything. These answers are just opinions, some based on experiences, some just my own common sense. The questions have been edited to smaller sentences.



 

 


Q – 
I was in a great relationship for 5 years, unfortunately he passed away about three years ago. I recently was asked on a date by his best friend who is a very nice hot man, but I really don’t know how to feel about it.
           (Patricia E / SP)

 

A –  Well, then don’t feel anything, just go and enjoy the night, maybe breakfast . I mean, if your partner was still alive and you guys had broken up, I don’t think going out on a date with his best friend would have been a good idea, but he is not longer alive and it has been such a long time ago…I don’t think that there is nothing wrong or weird about it, specially if you are also attracted to him.

 


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Q – I was recently at a sex site, and someone unlocked their photos to me, and the photos are from the boyfriend of a good friend of mine, someone who I really like and admire, what should I do??

                      (Hugo G. / NY)
  

A – Oops, this is complicated…chances are that if you get involved, they could break up and get back together and then you are the bad guy….BUT, it all depends how deep is your friendship with this friend of yours. I would be very annoyed if a closed friend of mine would hold such info from me. Maybe, they have an open relationship….

 





Questions? Send it to gazelle@freakchic.com


Freak Chic

by Gazelle Paulo

ask gazeLLe – 2





Gazelle is not an expert on anything. These answers are just opinions, some based on experiences, some just my own common sense. The questions have been edited to smaller sentences.
 

 

 

  Q – My boyfriend is always getting on fights pretty much anywhere we go, from restaurants to parking lots. I get so embarrassed, I don’t know what to do! Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?
                                                                                            ( Abby W. / FL)

 

  A– I really don’t know how someone can be constantly getting on fights the way you mentioned, my suggestion is to talk to him about his silly temper(which I believe you already did), and if talking to him doesn’t work, well, when the situation arrives, just leave the area and come back later…or one day you might end up getting a lost punch, chair, bullet…so basically when he starts his nonsense, just get up and go somewhere…you can always tell him that you are just tired of his attitude, and that you don’t want to be around when he starts acting on it.

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 Q – I am so broken this holiday season, my budget for gifts is only $50 and I have family, friends and co-workers that I need to buy gifts for.
(Tim V. / NY)

 

 A – You can always look on the bright side, and in this case you have a budget, and that’s when you need to be creative. It might not be really what you think as a Christmas mood, but if I were in your shoes, I would buy some nice funny Christmas cards, and inside I would put a  $1 lottery ticket…maybe you should also add a hilarious note…people will understand, and think it is funny, it will also show that you care, but you need to be prepared in case one of the tickets would be a winner….remember, a gift is a gift.

 


 


Questions? Send it to gazelle@freakchic.com


Freak Chic

by Gazelle Paulo

ask gazeLLe – 1


 

 Gazelle is not an expert on anything. These answers are just opinions, some based on experiences, some just my own common sense. The questions have been edited to smaller sentences.
 
 
Q: You once mentioned that in a restaurant, when a utensil falls on the floor, you should just leave it. Why?
    (Susan C. / TX)
 
A: Anything that falls off a table in a restaurant, should just be left there. The floor is dirty, nothing dirty, specially from the floor, should be brought to your clean table, so if you drop your fork, knife, napkin… don’t move a muscle, don’t even think about bending over to reach it…just ask the waiter for a new one. Now, if you drop your cell, blackberry, iPhone or else…shame on you. They shouldn’t be on the table in the first place.
 
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Q: Few weeks ago, I met this guy on a sex site. I went over to his house, his dick was super small. I felt really bad about walking out on him, so I forced myself to give him a blow job and the whole experience was horrible. I felt somehow he took advantage of me! What’s wrong of me?
  (Thomas A. / CA)
 
A: What’s wrong with you? First, you should never leave the house to meet a trick from a sex site, without knowing all the important details…you got to ask, otherwise you are wasting your time. Now, if he lied to you about his dick size, and you are not into small dicks, I don’t know why you can just say “sorry, but this is not going to work out” and leave, or you will end up doing what you did, giving the guy a BJ and asking yourself why you are doing it…and the guy is probably asking you if you are liking it, and probably will also ask you to pinch his nipples. The thing is, not saying no to such situation can interfere with other situations in your life.
 



 
Questions? Send it to gazelle@freakchic.com
Freak Chic
by Gazelle Paulo